We'll start off normal, then rip the bandage off. Society 6 is having a sale and there is a new piece up there. An abstracty kind of piece...a creepy kind of piece. I named it Angelic. The links are on the Canvas Prints, but it's on a ton of different products, so make sure you check it out!
Yes, sleep deprivation is high today, as we had a game session last night. It was fun and ran late...and I was wired and having trouble sleeping. As per usual after a game session. It's probably the coffee to help my throat stay clear...I talk more in that session than I do all week.
Okay, here comes the ripping of the bandage. I have decided to take a sabbatical, minions. I want to let you know I'm not quitting, but I need a break...and I don't know how long I'll need one for. I thought the holiday break was going to be enough to recharge me and get me ready and rarin' to go. Sadly, that was not the case.
I have been struggling through the last few weeks, trying to work on art, and none of it coming out the way I want it to. Getting frustrated and angry uploading the pieces I did over my vacation. Not frustrated blogging...but I just need to step away from all of it. Again, I'm not quitting...art is part of my blood...I just desperately need a break that I can't say when it will end.
I've been growing a lot as a human and the puzzle pieces of who I am becoming are just not fitting together properly. Some pieces are the old me that don't fit, and some do...but I'm not sure what the picture is supposed to look like. It's been affecting my art. I am incredibly afraid to take this sabbatical. On so many levels, but after talking to the sage hubby of mine, I know I need to step away from all of it to work out the kinks in my think and figure out what the hell the final puzzle is going to look like. He came up with the puzzle analogy, I decided to use it here because it was really good.
My struggle with arting has been happening...at first I thought it was a simple artist block. It goes deeper than that. I will still be arting when I want to but I can't do it on schedule. I need that obligation gone for a bit. To just clear the noggin' and figure out where I'm going next as an artist as well as a human. The fears were mainly letting everyone down, not ever coming back, and just not ever being able to create or have that burning desire to create. Very illogical fears for the most part, the only one that stands ground is letting you down. If I am, I truly apologize for that...but know this is not the end, it's a new beginning.
The biggest fear is the unknown of how long I will need. A few days, weeks, months? More? That is scary. I don't think it'll be more, but I don't know how long I will need. Hence, the sabbatical rather than a vacation which has a finite start and end. I'm hoping it won't be overly long. That some epiphany will smack me in the back of the head and all will be right in my world. Realistically I know that probably won't be the case. I do have hope, I haven't lost that...I do have small urges to art...which I try and it just isn't feeling right. I know, I know, I have said many times the feels are bad...there's an exception to that rule when it comes to art and a few other things.
This was by no means an easy decision. I actually broke down and that's not something I do often. I'm still afraid of the decision, even though in my heart I know it's the right thing to do. I'm getting a little leaky eyed typing this...as the fear is coursing through me. Am I doing the right thing? Will you support me on my choice? Am I going to come back and no one will be here to say Happy Monday to? So many questions, that will remain unanswered...but I know in order to be a better human and a better artist, this needs to be done. I need to unplug, get my noggin on straight and come back with a new chapter of adventures and stories, and eye strain giving blogs. And new art, stuff that I'm proud of, lately it's been conveyor belt, though I am really enjoying the mandala's.
On that note, I want to leave you with this...when the Monday's come and every day, know I'm wishing you a Happy Monday or any other day ending in "y". Know that as much as I'm doing this for me, I'm doing it for you as well. My art has been mediocre at best, in my opinion, my blogs have been good, but I'm a windbag, that comes naturally. Know that the arty art news will come back...just don't have the expiration date on the sabbatical, trust me I read the label...Know that I will be back, I will be around, just not active.
I hope you all understand and I'm wishing you all the best while I'm on sabbatical, and I will miss you all. Until next time, minions, Happy Monday and be well.